Friday, March 7, 2014

Don't Panic! I'm not dead.

Hola mi familia!
Do not be alarmed.  I arrived safely in Guatemala. Although I feel like I have been awake for a thousand years... They did give us a siesta though.  That was nice.. Until we were woken up by a gun fight outside.  
But really, I am safe.  
And despite being tired, I really like it here.  I already feel my Spanish coming back to me... slowly.  
Flying here was an adventure! I sat next to a pregnant body builder who was on her way to Australia for a competition.  She told me all about how they were going to submerse her in a pool of water and calculate the weight of her fetus... Then that weight would be deducted from her overall weight.  
She was terrifying.  
She looked like she could snap my arm in half with minimal effort.  Her fetus is probably ripped too.  She explained to me how you can make yourself look 100 times more buff by eliminating sodium from your diet.  I listened intently as I munched on my sodium-enriched complimentary pretzels.  
Then on the flight to Guatemala, I sat next to a tiny Guatemalan grandma who seemed to be under the impression that if she simply screamed Spanish at me and used excessive hand guestures somehow I would understand her.  
She was mistaken.  
Eventually I realized that she wanted me to fill out her visa papers which... were completely in Spanish.  Yeah, she isnt entering the country any time soon.  
On the other side of me was an Indian entering Guatemala on business.  He seemed very confused as to why a 19-year-old white American girl would willingly enter Guatemala for 18 months with no breaks.  He asked me a bunch of questions about the Book of Mormon.  I really wanted to give him a copy, but the only one I had was in Spanish... He didn't speak Spanish. Besides, there is something inherantly racist about giving an Indian man a Spanish Book of Mormon.... Not all brown people speak Spanish.  
Hermana P. left yesterday for the field.  But, I guess she left me a note! One of the other sisters has it.  I'm excited.  
Has Lincoln cried yet? I'm sure he has.  Have you stopped crying yet, Dad? Just kidding.  
This keyboard is confusing.  I can't find any punctuation or the enter key.
This may need some editing.  
Its beautiful here! I have got to go, but it sounds like my real prep-day will be on Tuesdays.  
Hermana Wise

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